1 Word Sums Up The Road To Boston: DETOURS!

2012 remains my strongest year in running. Except for a bout with the flu, I remained injury free, got faster, and qualified for Boston at Honolulu by 19 minutes and 33 seconds (yes it DOES matter).


2012 bled into January 2013 with the Napa Valley Marathon on the horizon for March. Ran into some abdominal issues, spent months at doctors having tests done to be told they have no idea what is wrong it is some type of fibromyalgia.


Also dealt with Peroneal tendonitis, yet had logged tons of miles, so wasn't surprised and took a couple weeks off.


PR'd a half marathon with abdominal issues and was training hard for my 1st Ultra, a 50K. My coach had set up my training plan to not only get long runs in but also speed work as I wanted to break 3:20 at Honolulu in December. Dreams don't die for this girl!


My clumsiness, and apparently very high arches, left me not running for 2 l-o-n-g months after rolling my ankle at Peacock while on a 20 mile training run. Missed my Ultra and Honolulu, yet was looking at "The Big Picture" (previous post) and running strong at Boston was my ultimate goal. Spent weeks in the torture chamber physical therapy and left with some arch supports.


Started out slowly (literally) in December and by January felt comfortable adding longer runs with some speed. Other than feeling like a turtle and the occasional sharp pain in my foot and tummy, I had time on my side and was confident I could make a full recovery. Enter Stage Right: Abdominal pain coupled with back pain.

11 miles of hills!


WTH?!?!


Had some bouts with abdominal twinges again but nothing to make me stop running. Yet while pacing my dear friend at her ultra in January, I started having severe pain, which I attributed to eating too much of her mom's most amazing garbanzo bean salad. After 3 weeks of ignoring it...because that is the way it will go away....as well as taking a WHOLE 4 DAYS OFF from running, I saw my doctor after work earlier this week.

Getting all the food before the last 20!


Bottom line: Need surgery to feel better. The kind where they open you up and cannot run in foreeeeeeeever. After visiting radiology my diagnosis is my organs are stuck together...the ones you don't need when you're 29+++, so can be taken out. I'm certain that's not the medical term. Add a tumor (benign) and no wonder my tummy is unhappy.


Thankfully I have an understanding doctor who runs and "gets Boston". It's my choice to have surgery now, or wait until after the marathon. I've decided to wait. My pain being more intense when I sit, verses running, contributed to my decision. I have dreamed, sweated, and had too-many-to-count 4am wake ups to get to Boston.

Early Morning Miles!


Yet, I may suck. I don't know if I'll be able to do the workouts my coach has given me to hit my sub 3:20 goal. But I'm going to try my best. That's all I can do. My best.


It may not be the race I dreamed of. But it's Boston. And I got there!

"The Big Picture"

Months of early morning training runs and a full day on the weekend were spent in preparation for my first ultra and a PR at Honolulu.

Early morning runs were not the hop-out-of-bed and go through the motions to get in 8-12 miles before work.  I did track workouts, tempos, hills, and the long run.  At times painful training.  Anxiety the night before in anticipation of the splits I needed to hit.  Yet after the workout was over, the confidence in my ability to complete Peacock and break the dreaded 3:20 barrier at Honolulu seemed possible.

Hibiscus Half. 

My coach told me to BELIEVE.  I still have the sticky note on my computer monitor as my daily reminder to BELIEVE my body is capable.  I wrote BELIEVE with a sharpie next to my Garmin when I ran my last half as I wanted to hit 1:31.  I nailed my splits and won overall female that day.  Ok, the fast girls must have slept in, but I still believed.

My life for months, actually since January of 2012, consisted of work. The kids.  And training.  Life was pretty much perfect.

Perfect Life.

Until Sunday, September 22nd, 11 miles into a 20 mile trail training run at Peacock.  I'm a road runner. Have blogged about it.  Not super comfortable where there are roots and rocks.  Steve was encouraging  me on the trails so I wasn't such a wuss.  During that run, he told me I was doing great, going faster downhill where there were rocks (SCARY!), and I was feeling more confident that I would leave the 50k in my own car, verses an ambulance.  That's a little dramatic, I wasn't worried about an ambulance.  Yet I was worried I was going to suck.  I'm too competitive to suck.

The ankle rolled.  It hurt but not bad enough to take the short cut back to the car, as I wanted to get the mileage in. A couple miles later, it really hurt.  The entire way down Long Road I was miserable.  If someone had offered to pack me on a bike, I would have gladly accepted a ride.  I'm not really into quitting before set mileage is done.  I wanted to quit.

Yet I was sure after a few days of rest, I would be ready to hit the road again.  Boot for a week. Ice. Motrin. Clear xray. No running. Aqua jogging started at week 4 of being down as I needed an outlet and felt my muscles turning to mush.  Still pain.  MRI at 6 weeks down.  Bursitis in my foot.  More Motrin and Icing with instructions to call the doctor a week later.  7 weeks down and no improvement so doc wants me to see an orthopedic surgeon to see why I'm not getting better.

On Saturday I decided that I had missed my ultra so I wouldn't set myself back.  Had not run for 7 weeks.  And Aqua Jogging doesn't give me the endorphins I'm used to.  So I hiked Tantalus with Steve and it was exhilarating to get dirty.  See amazing views and snag a 2lb avocado.  I wanted more so ran yesterday and today.  Today my foot hurts more than it has the last few weeks.  Oopsie.

Yet during today's run, I realized just how brave I want to be, but how deeply I'm hurting inside.

I have tried to be brave.  I showed up at the starting line at the Peacock 50k and 100k.  I helped check people in and my heart ached as I wanted to be in race mode.  I questioned if I really would set myself back, and should have just ran the race.  All the while smiling and encouraging my husband to race smart so he would finish his first 100k.

Before the start of Peacock. 

Instead of going home and crawling in bed and bawling that I was injured, I helped set up the aid station at Long Road.  Brought my cow bell and cheered for the racers coming through. Supportive Malia.  If you can't race, than support those that can.

That day ended.  Steve did amazing.  I am still so proud of how he listened to his body during the race and finished strong.  Yet deep down, I wondered how I would have done.  Would I have listened to my body?  Would I have sucked?

There are races leading up to Honolulu.  Steve and I cheered for those racing the 30k.  The half this coming Sunday was on my race schedule.  I noticed today it's still on my Training Plan.  Obviously, I'm not doing it.

I didn't have any idea the impact of becoming injured and my running coming to a halt would have on me.  My work.  My dreams.  Gone.  Yes, I'm trying to look at the big picture.  At least that's what I tell myself.  Focus on Boston.  You'll be better by then and can PR there.  "In the big picture of life, these are only a few months!".  My son told me today that "Honolulu is there every year".  He's right.  It is there every year.  But I didn't get up at o-dark thirty for months on end to race it next year.

I'm sad.  And I'll continue to nod my head up and down when people tell me to look at the big picture.  Yet I wonder, have their dreams been shattered by a training injury?  Because if not, they shouldn't say thing.  Just give me a beer.

29 Seconds Is Still 29 Seconds

After getting antsy on Friday (read here) and wanting to race Hapalua, I was given the military discount and signed up for 50 bucks, verses the late entry fee of $125.  Score one for me!

Questioned my judgement in racing when I went to sleep last night as I just raced Napa a week ago.  I believe the root of my desire to race was to show my body (rib/side) that I was in charge.

It rained and rained and rained ALL NIGHT LONG in Kailua!  The forecast for the race were light 5 mile an hour winds and it can rain all over the island and Waikiki remain dry.  Yet I still didn't get a good night sleep.  Pulled into one of the few remaining parking spots at the zoo at 5:15am and although it was dark, it seemed clear out.

Watched the "Chase Groups" start as we had a couple runner friends who were competing.  The Chase Groups are elite athletes from Hawai'i who are allowed a staggered "head start", starting 25 minutes before the 6am gun start, and their goal is to reach the finish line for a 5k prize before one of the 3 Kenyans (the "chasers") racing.

Makai and I lined up a couple rows back with Steve and Kanoa on the sidelines ready to cheer us on!

1st uh oh: The rain came down a couple minutes before the start.  Not nice rain drops that feel refreshing.  The kind of rain that makes your shoes squishy.

2nd uh oh: Left my visor at home in favor of sunglasses.  Didn't need the sunglasses once, where the visor would have given me some protection from the large rain drops entering my eyes.  I don't like running with both...too many things touching me.

3rd uh oh: It's a long story, and I am accused quite often of launching into long stories, when I could get to the point, so the point is: I had a Garmin attached to my wrist ready to use it for my splits neatly written on my race bib.  The Garmin didn't operate and for a couple miles, I didn't even have the time visible.

So what is a girl to do who is worried about pain? Legs that just put in a 50 mile week and a marathon? Has no idea what her pace is?  And who is trying for a PR (my previous half was 1:33:36).  I just ran.  Ran on how I felt, not competing against anyone. It was actually VERY liberating although I don't plan on racing like that again for a very long time.  I went into this race knowing that I was not going to compete for a place, but just compete against myself, because how many other 29+++ had run a marathon the week before?  (Found out later there were 195 of us in the 29+++  age group that finished.  That's a lot of "Moms" who like to race!) They surely had an advantage over me. :)

I did ask one man what our pace was between 1-2 miles and we were in the upper 6's which was a little fast, but nothing out of the ordinary.  After that, I only saw my time at the 5k, 10k, and 15k marks.  I knew at the 15K I was a little behind schedule but was hoping to be able to gain some of it back going down Diamond Head, but first I had to climb a mile up Monsarrat Ave. (I don't know the grade but it's steeeeeeeeeeep!!!)  I pride myself on being a pretty good climber, but my legs were fatigued at this point so I didn't make up as much ground as I had hoped.

From the start until heading back into Waikiki I had a cute little girl "racing" me. I had tried to drop her a couple times, yet she would end up next to me a few minutes later and I'm not a big fan of hearing other people breathing next to me.  Finally looked over at her and said, I think you are a lot younger than me and we are not competing.  She asked how old I was and I told her I was 29, um, I mean I told her I was 41 and she said "You're in really good shape for being that old!".   No, I didn't slap her or have any desire to, I just knew I was going to finish before that young whipper snapper and show her what us old ladies who have birthed multiple children can do! BTW, she was 30!!!

Nothing eventful about the race other than the puddles.  Lots of them.  I did get lots of shout outs on my skirt and I'm sure wearing a white tank top, that was soaking wet, drew attention to my adorable Lulu outfit in a way I had NOT intended.  Heard the cowbells intended just for me, right before the zoo, and saw Steve and Kanoa cheering us on.  Wanted to ask if Makai was on target but only managed to say that the Garmin wasn't working and I had no idea how I was racing.

The clock sped up as I was heading to the finish and despite my great effort to beat a 1:33, I clocked in at 1:33:08.  SO close!  It still is a PR and I will take it!!  I knew I had placed in my age group and was fairly confident I had won it as I had tracked the 5 girls in front of me and they all looked like they didn't have to worry about grey hairs yet.  And yes, I beat the cute little girl who called me old.

Makai came around to the finish area, looking quite relaxed like he had been waiting for me all day.  The kid, who in November had run his first half in 1:31, and was aiming for a 1:25, had finished almost a full 10 minutes ahead of me in 1:23:13.  He was the 16th finisher overall out of a field of 3000.  I was 72nd finisher overall.  There are no words to describe how proud I am of him.  I'm also certain he has some God given talent and with his training schedule he is improving immensely.

Makai and I with our AG awards and dry clothes after the race!

Ate a malasada.  Got our age group awards and headed home to spend the day cuddled up in front of the couch as it's 9pm at night and still raining!

Tomorrow morning is the abdominal ultrasound. Prayers appreciated.