Perspective

Before I begin:

Like everyone else, my injuries seem very minimal after #Boston2013.  My prayers have been with those whose lives have forever been deeply changed by the events at the marathon.  I am determined that I will race #Boston2014, as only for a split second in the aftermath did I consider lining up for a marathon dangerous.

Regarding my last post.  I have some amazing people in my life that I look up to and keep me going.  I have stated many times that the reason for this blog is to encourage people to lace up their shoes and run.  I feel like I am letting not only myself, but others down when I am injured and cannot perform.  Yet some amazing gifts were given to me this week that will keep me moving forward.  An IG friend, a man whom I have never met in person, sent me the sweetest message allowing me to see how Steve and I inspire him.  Then a girl that I have known since she was 5, and is now dealing with some health issues that have changed her life, messaged me that she is motivated to run.  She even sent me her 5k time.  I cried.  They were two innocent messages.... I'm sure the senders had no idea the gift they were giving me when I feel so disconnected to my running due to injuries.

Oh Dark Thirty before the start with Jessica

Today I got up at 3:30am, not to put in my own long run, but to volunteer with Girls On The Run at the Lanikai Triathlon.  This was the first time volunteering at an aid station and I was prepared: 1. Hold the cup out and away from me to minimize stickiness over self  2. Smile  3. Do not cheer on athletes telling them way to go  4. Try to make eye contact so I knew who was grabbing my cup.
1. The only gatorade that got on me was due to me dropping a cup I was holding in my other hand.  I had either 4 or 5 reserves ready to go so one wrong finger move and BAM! Sticky!
2. I smiled.  Even at the grumpy people.
3. I find it irritating when volunteers are too busy being cheerleaders that they don't focus on the whole cup transfer. The athletes focus is getting fluid, so a smile is encouragement enough for me.  I did fail when the stragglers started coming in and there wasn't congestion.  They looked like they needed cheerleaders so I cheered!
4. I made eye contact.  Some people don't make eye contact back.

Sun rising over Kailua at the start of the swim

What I learned?  People making eye contact makes the hand off easier.  It is just as irritating from the sideline watching racers grab their cup and stop in their tracks verses going to the other side, as it is when you are behind said offenders. I'm pretty sure I outwardly cringed.  No matter how hard you try, some people are just rude.  Case in point by 3 athletes: A bunch of women holding cups yelling water water water and on the other side of the station yelling gatorade gatorade gatorade.  Geniuses come to gatorade cups and ask for water and when you say gatorade they huff and puff, or swear.  My friend Jess figured it out quickly, so kept 1 cup of water in with her gatorade cups so she could hydrate geniuses.

I have a hard time fathoming how anyone can be negative while racing.  Even in pain, isn't racing the biggest high you can experience as an athlete?  The people I surround myself with are so stoked to race that this truly was the first time I've seen this behavior.  Maybe I'm naive.

Throwing a temper tantrum on the course or out of a transition area doesn't gain you a lot of fans and actually causes you to lose some.  One of the top 5 off the bike came out of the transition area at the wrong location....over cones! hello?!....and when us nice ladies at the Water Aid Station directed him to the right place he not only yelled a word, that rhymes with  "hit", but started yelling that someone needed to give directions. Guess that is why you go to the pre-race meeting....everyone else knew where to go!  One of the spectators said after he left "Well now let's hope he loses. BOO!".  My sentiments exactly.  

Girls On The Run Water Aid Station.  Perfecting the cup hold

It is more inspiring for me to watch people race who you know are not used to this racing stuff, than those that were leading off the bike.  You could see the determination oozing from them! Maybe that's because the leaders went by so fast....

I realized when I got home that never once did it occur to me that someone would try to hurt any of the athletes or spectators.  No it wasn't a marathon.  It was a sprint triathlon.  I rode (injury) with my running club yesterday to honor Boston as my heart has been heavy all week.  Yet from the pre-race excitement in the air,  Boston was wiped from my thoughts and watching 500 athletes set out to accomplish their personal goals was what energized me.  So I felt guilty that I didn't celebrate each of these athletes and think of Boston.  Then I rationalized that in a way, that was letting the bombers win. So there bombers!!! I didn't think of you for an entire TWO HOURS!!!

I did think of Boston while playing on the beach today

Taking a full week off from running.  Rode the fixed gear bike cruiser 15 miles yesterday and 12 the day before.  Contemplating not doing Alaska....praying the week off is all I need.  In the meantime, I'll be riding around Kailua trying to get the endorphins pumping!

Ramblings (!!!) of a Confused/Competitive Runner

Skip if you have any urge to slap whiney/confused runners.

The past couple months have sucked.  There is no other word it describe it.  Trying to remain positive.  Trying to look at the big picture.  And questioning my motivation and goals.

Kids are great.  Husband is great.  Job is great.  Dog #1 fine.  Dog #2, still stupid.  Body?  Not so hot.  Calf strain seems to be healed.  Abdominal/Liver/Kidney/Muscular pain still there (they named it Fibrositis, but my chiro isn't convinced).  Not just running.  Happens randomly.  Stress fracture/bruising in my foot which came on suddenly after a 5k race a week ago.  I don't race 5k's.  Ran it to raise $ for my son's high school.  Ran 6:30's.  Felt super duper fabulous with no abdominal issues.  2 hours later can hardly walk.

Is this getting old?  Like does this happen when you are 29+++?

Hiring a coach for Makai's distance running.  He wants to run a 3 hour marathon.  While communicating with the coach I considered hiring him myself.  I see women my age running 3:15's like it's a walk in the park.  I feel like. such. a. loser. with my 3:25 and 3:27 marathons.  I work hard.  I put in 50-60 mile weeks.  When I try to add more, my body breaks.

My job and family keep me busy.  I work 40+ hours a week.  Kanoa is in 4th grade which means homework and after school sports.  Makai is a sophomore and although he is independent and drives, he is involved in XC in the fall and track in the spring which means hours and hours at his races.  I missed one track meet due to a work conflict and it was awful not being there.  I wouldn't trade anything for not watching my kids in their activities.  Then there are "chores" at home. My point: I'm busy and have a very fulfilling life.  I'm not looking to fill my hours with a hobby because I sent my youngest off to Kindergarten and don't know what to do with myself. (Kiana is away at college and needs my guidance as to what type of tattoo to get and how many shots are too many!)

I went on a beach cruiser bike ride a couple days ago.  Because my foot hurts I couldn't run.  I think and pray and solve all the problems of the world when it's me and my Newtons hitting the pavement.  So I thought and prayed on my beach cruiser bike ride in slippers.  I think I averaged 13mph.  Surely Ironman has not heard of me or my phone would be ringing.

Fixed Gear Bike.  Basket for Water.  Or Wine. 

No shoes needed.

And my thoughts were all over the place but one stood out.  Why am I so determined to run a 3:15? I checked off the Boston Qualifier (x2, so it totally feels legit).  If I do run a 3:15, will I want to run a 3:05?  I'm 29+++.  My "prime" was 5-10 years ago.  Are the races becoming my goal?

I don't ever feel like running is work.  Yeah, some of those long runs suck.  And striders hurt.  I'm in a funk.  Steve asked what was wrong today.  I told him I didn't know, I felt like I was in funk.  He said and I quote, "You only ran 11 miles this week.  That's what's wrong!".  And he's right.  I only ran 11 miles because of my foot.

This morning I ran 5 miles barefoot.  Alone.  On the beach.  Splashing through the water at times.  I felt so alive.  It was NOT the best thing for my foot.  It WAS the best thing for my mind.

There really is no better place for me to be.

I have been wanting to find other women who are as crazily addicted to running as I am to run/hang out with.  Because in all honestly, I know there are people who think I am craaaaaaaaaazy.  They don't get my endorphin addiction and my competitiveness.  Just finishing a race has never been ok with me.   There has to be miles logged and a plan in place for me to even show up at the starting line.  I'm not wired to wing it and "pray" for a good outcome.

Kailua is a small town.  The military even smaller.  I ran the inaugural training run for a new running group on Saturday.  Mainly military spouses.  I really shouldn't have ran due to the foot issue.  Yet I was so excited to run with other women (and men!) who want to improve and fellowship with other runners.  :)  :)  :)

First club run.  

I'm thinking: This is great.  A couple of these girls have some impressive resumes who will help me with techniques to improve.  Maybe I can nail that 3:15.

I deferred Boston until 2014 due to races already lined up this year by the time I qualified.  Seeing my friends who are running tomorrow makes me super happy for them.  But I'm sad I'll be going to work tomorrow and not running Boston.

Does that answer my question?  Will just running and not having a race to train for be enough right now?  Or do I need to keep races on the calendar and PR's to crush to keep me motivated?

Mayors Marathon in June.  Honolulu in December.  Today I signed up for the Hibiscus Half next month.  I will get that 1:32! And who knows what could happen in Alaska...

Plant Based

My shopping cart has always looked bi-polar (no offense to anyone suffering from this condition). 

My side consists of apples, cucumbers, fresh spinach, mushrooms, kale, cherry tomatoes, sweet potatoes, Fage yogurt, coconut milk creamer, hummus (OMG, mouth watering just writing that word), salmon, Kashi cereal, almond milk, sweet potato fries, quinoa...you get the picture.  I tried a couple times to buy almond butter and natural peanut butter but the fam wouldn't eat it, and I don't eat PB on a regular basis so bought them their Skippy Creamy PB. 

The "other" side which belongs to the husband and 2 boys has baby carrots, bananas, blueberry muffin mix, "sugar" cereal, skim milk, sweet bread, tator tots, Activia yogurt, hapa rice, ground beef for burgers, brats, Coffemate Creamer...you get that picture.  And they like Pop Tarts, yet I refuse. yes refuse. to put them in my cart. 

The "middle" goes something like this: ground turkey, whole wheat pasta, chicken breasts, skim milk, pita chips, pop chips....and so forth.

The hubs, who has worn a size 31"since high school, and now wears a 30" has slowly converted to Fage, Kashi, and his famous Acai Bowls.  DELISH!  Except he would put in skim milk and apple juice as the base, where i preferred Almond Milk. But they are so yummy, that I don't complain.  

Until a few weeks ago when he decided he was going to try a Plant Based diet.  Not Vegan.  Refuses to use that word.  Do you know the meaning behind that word? There are many ultra runner athletes who get enough protein from eating plant based food, so he decided to give it a month to see how he felt.

I am in heaven. Like I am sure I have died.  Or a strange creature has taken over what appears to be my husband.  I am still eating my Fage and milk chocolate eggs.  It's Easter time. He is not.  He searches recipes online and uses more Kale than I ever have.  Spinach.  No longer turning his nose at spinach salads.  Home aid avocado and lime dressing.  Spends hours making veggie burgers made out of lentils, chia seeds, and whatever else they call for.  My favorite is a cucumber, avocado, tomato, black bean, garbanzo bean, Kale, and cilantro salad.  Chia coco pudding.  Quinoa in abundance. I could go on.  Oh ya, and natural peanut butter because "Can you believe the sugar that is in regular peanut butter?" Really?!?!

He is not struggling.  Is a little obsessed with food.  Think that's because it takes effort to make food that is actually good for you. He did go to Whole Foods today and get a "vegan" pizza.  That's how they labeled it.  They should say plant based. 

I have tried for years to say that Pop Tarts are not a healthy breakfast.  They're dessert.  That less sugar is better.  Brown is better than white.  Fell on deaf ears.  When you look good, it must be difficult to see what crap does to your body.  I on the other hand, have to work my ass off (literally!) to stay in size 2 and 4's.  

You can't force someone to believe what you believe.  They have to live it. Experience it. And do it on their own time.  For me, it was food.  There are larger more heated issues than food.  Use tolerance.  I won't mind if he starts eating real cheese again and replaces the coconut milk yogurts for Fage Greek yogurt.  He knows how good Kale and Spinach and less sugar make him feel.  And if he stays Plant Based, then I have effectively bought my way out of grocery shopping.  Who knows, maybe I'll try it.  Right now, am not ready.  

The teen kid's diet is starting to look more like Mom's.  Figured out all the sugar cereal and skim milk gave have tummy issues while racing.  He likes to run fast.  Replaced school lunches with sandwiches on whole grain bread.  Takes a banana to school.  Bagels instead of pop tarts to fuel with.  Soy milk instead of skim.  Natural PB instead of sugar laced PB.  Yet again, it didn't matter how much I "preached", he had to learn it on his own.  

Our shopping cart looks much more in sync now, although I'm not there to view it because the hubs does most of the shopping now.  Did I mention I feel like I'm in heaven? ;)

"Veganism"